Introduction: When Something Hurts, We Want It Gone
In medicine, the model is often clear:
Identify the problem.
Remove the threat.
Restore function.
If there’s cancer, we cut it out.
If tonsils are inflamed, we remove them.
If the thyroid is malfunctioning, we treat or extract it.
This approach saves lives.
But when we unconsciously apply the same medical model to our relationships, jobs, families, and businesses, the results can be complicated, and sometimes damaging.
🧠 The Medical Model: Fix, Remove, Replace
The medical model is rooted in urgency and survival. It asks:
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What’s wrong?
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Where is the threat?
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How do we eliminate it quickly?
In healthcare, this makes sense. Diseased tissue can spread. Infection can become fatal. Delay can cost a life.
But life outside the body doesn’t always work the same way.
💔 When Relationships Become “Cancer”
In relationships, discomfort is often treated like disease.
Conflict becomes toxicity.
Miscommunication becomes incompatibility.
Growth pains become “this isn’t working.”
So we cut people off.
We detach.
We remove instead of repair.
But unlike cancer, not every painful interaction is destructive tissue. Some discomfort is inflammation, not malignancy. Some conflict is a signal for healing, not removal.
The question isn’t always “What should I cut out?”
Sometimes it’s “What needs care?”
💼 Jobs, Careers, and the Scalpel Mentality
We treat jobs the same way.
Burnout? Quit.
Stress? Walk away.
Discomfort? Find something else.
Sometimes leaving is healthy, just like surgery can be lifesaving.
But sometimes the issue isn’t the job itself; it’s the lack of boundaries, alignment, or support.
In medicine, doctors don’t remove an organ unless they’re sure it can’t be treated.
In life, we often remove entire chapters without fully diagnosing the cause.
👨👩👧 Family Systems and Emotional Surgery
Families are complex systems, more like bodies than machines.
Removing one part affects the whole.
Cutting off family members can sometimes be necessary for safety.
But when done reflexively, without reflection or support, emotional “amputations” can leave phantom pain, grief, guilt, or unresolved wounds.
Some family issues are chronic conditions that require management, not elimination.
🏢 Business, Conflict, and Over-Treatment
In business, the medical model shows up as well:
Fire the employee.
Dissolve the partnership.
Shut it down.
Sometimes decisive action is leadership.
Other times, it’s avoidance dressed up as efficiency.
Healthy organizations, like healthy bodies, respond best to early intervention, communication, and preventive care, not emergency surgery every time tension appears.
⚖️ When the Medical Model Is Appropriate
Let’s be clear:
Some situations are cancerous.
Some environments are toxic.
Some relationships are unsafe.
Just like in medicine, there are times when removal is the only ethical choice.
The danger isn’t the medical model itself.
The danger is applying it without discernment.
🌱 A More Holistic Question
Instead of asking only:
“What do I need to cut out?”
We might also ask:
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What needs treatment instead of removal?
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What needs boundaries instead of endings?
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What needs rest instead of rejection?
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What needs therapy, coaching, or restructuring?
In healthcare, the best outcomes come from accurate diagnosis, not rushed decisions.
Life deserves the same care.
✨ Conclusion: Surgery or Stewardship?
The medical model teaches us how to save lives, but not always how to sustain them.
In relationships, careers, family, and business, growth often comes not from cutting parts out, but from learning how to care for what’s hurting.
Not every pain is cancer.
Not every conflict needs removal.
And not every challenge is a sign to walk away.
Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is stay, diagnose, treat, and heal.
Because life isn’t just about survival.
It’s about stewardship, of ourselves, our connections, and the systems we live in.
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